


three a.m.

by iovesung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, References to Depression, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24575986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iovesung/pseuds/iovesung
Summary: seungmin spends his nights cold and lonely until he caught a glimpse of the sun,, hwang hyunjin.[read] in which seungmin relies on drawing to keep himself sane and hyunjin cant help but stare at the pretty boy always doodling outside his window at three am every morning
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i hate reading angst but i love writing it so i hope you enjoy eee !! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is an intro chapter, that’s why it’s so short lol.

seungmin wandered the dimly lit halls of his all-guys boarding school. it was sometime past three in the morning and he was going on his routine walk around the building. he hated being trapped in the confines of his small, un-air conditioned dorm room. so with this in mind he would always wiggle the loose door knob open when he was sure no one would see, and sneak out in silence.

as he approached the buildings’ blinking red exit sign, he looked around for guards, and as always there were none. he cracked open his second obstacle and slipped out into the cool, crisp night air.

he made his way to the concrete bench he would sit and draw on every night. the wind tousled his hair and loose fitted shirt, sending shivers down his body. ever since winter began, winds whipped through the air at low temperatures causing seungmin to need more layers then he wanted. and if seungmin didn’t want to do something, he wasn’t going to do it; hence he’s in a boarding school.

he reached into his pocket for his pen, the only art utensil he could find in these circumstances, and unfolded his drawing that he’d been working on for the past few days. he was at ease, for now at least he never got bored drawing during the cool nights. he sure did get lonely though, especially after losing his closest friend to freedom.

he knew it was time to pick up shop and return to his room when the birds started chirping, symbolizing the beginning of a new day. he refolded his drawing and snuck back into the building unseen, or so he thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw// suicide mentions

each day seungmin just went through the same motions, never making his presence known and only wishing for the time when everyone was asleep and he could sneak out again. drawing was his safe space, his drawings couldn’t leave him like humans could. they couldn’t betray and lie and backstab. so he saw no point in making friends.

during the days he would sit in his dorm on his hard, thin mattress, and think. he would think until his brain didn’t want to think anymore. his mind would wander over various made-up scenarios and stories yet they would always would bubble around a singular memory–yang jeongin, his first real best friend in this cruel establishment. they bonded over a shared dorm room–the dorm room seungmin still lives in. jeongin killed himself, there was no way to beat around the bush anymore. seungmin learned the hard way that denying things only made the pain worse.

he still talks to jeongin and shows him his art because he knows jeongin liked to see it. although jeongin hurt him badly, he supposes he’s in a better place now. seungmin can’t bring himself to go onto the rooftop anymore, a place that was once filled with laughter and joy now only holds a gloomy energy and a reminder of what could have been.

so this brings us to the present day seungmin, pushing his pens and a newly found highlighter deep into the safety of his pajama pants pockets. he checks his watch that displays 3:15 A.M, then slips his folded art into his pocket and goes to wiggle the door handle for his escape. he makes his way to his bench leisurely, knowing the route and that no one will be out to stop him. he steps outside to see a slight snow beginning to fall and sighs.

“well...shit.”

the cold air mixed with the slight snow and seungmin’s lack of warm clothes would end with him in the dorm’s infirmary for sure, but this didn’t matter because seungmin told himself he would finish his drawing today so he kept walking to his bench.  
he sat down with a shiver and took out his project to complete.

suddenly, he heard the fallen snow crunching behind him and his heart started to beat so fast he thought it might explode. he didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want this safe haven taken from him. he’s already lost everything else, he cannot afford to lose this as well. despite the internal battle in his head, the overwhelming urge to fight took him over and he shot his head around and-

“h-hi,” a tall figure giggled. he was holding a blanket, his arm outstretched.

seungmin turns his head around in defiance.“...why would i want your blanket?”

“cause it’s cold and you’re practically naked?”

the boy walks toward seungmin and he shifts away, not wanting to be touched. the boy lets out a dramatic sigh, sitting next to seungmin anyway.

“who are you? what do you want?” seungmin interrogates the taller.

“ehh...i’m hwang hyunjin,” he scratches his head, embarrassed. “i just saw you looking cold and wanted to give you a blanket, that’s all.”

seungmin hums in response, eyeing the blanket in hyunjin’s arms warily.

hyunjin hands the blanket over and when seungmin gives a questioning stare, he smiles, trying to assure him it’s fine.

“who are you drawing?” hyunjin leans closer to the paper in seungmin’s hands and sees a drawing of a familiar looking boy. it’s comforting, he thinks to himself.

seungmin reacts all but pleased, snatching the paper out of hyunjins view.

“jesus, why are you so nosy!?” he stands up, shoving the blanket back into the taller’s arms. “you can’t just sneak up on people and then ask personal questions like that! like i know you! how do you even know i’m here? how did you sneak out of your room?” seungmin bursts into a fit of tears and anger.

hyunjin could tell he must not be mentally stable, something must have happened to him for him to lash out like this.

“okay, uhm,” hyunjin says awkwardly, trying to smooth over the situation. “do you want me to walk you back to your room? i’m sorry for prying...”

“no, please don’t follow me either,” seungmin wipes his tears and walks away, leaving a defeated hyunjin confused in the snow.


	3. Chapter 3

hyunjin wakes up to the school bell alerting him he’s late to class, although not unusual for him. his roommate jisung had already left and didn’t even attempt to wake him.  _ what a dick,  _ he thinks. he gets up reluctantly, throws his uniform on, and fixes his hair into a semi bowl-cut look he does everyday. while tying his shoes he notices the blanket from the night before at the corner of the floor. he frowns to himself and picks it up, remembering the hurtful words the boy from last night had spat at him and the hurried state he left in.

he couldn’t help but wonder if the other boy was alright. hyunjin wanted to respect his wishes to not be followed but his protective nature got the best of him and he found his way off to the recreational desk of the school. 

“how can i help you, young man?” the wrinkly lady from behind the desk said, greeting hyunjin with a fake smile.

“ahh...well you see, i need to know what room my friend is in. could you find me his room number?” he asked sheepishly, hoping for good results.

“yes, of course. what’s their name?” 

that’s when hyunjin knew he was fucked. he didn’t even know the other boy's name, how on earth would he find him? there was always the possibility of him being at the bench again that night but for all hyunjin knew he could have scared him into never returning. hyunjin needed to see him sooner and apologize.

“oh, uhm...i just remembered the number! never mind!” 

he hurriedly excused himself from the desk and zipped away.

he let out a defeated sigh and checked his watch, seeing he had around half an hour until the class he was skipping would end. he decided he would get some breakfast from the commons and think about a new plan on finding the boy.

as he turned the corner of the hallway he grabbed his wallet to pay for the foods he chose and went to find a seat in the nearly empty cafeteria. the uncomfortable, hard chairs usually made him not want to stay there very long so he planned to eat fast and walk to his next class, until he saw someone.

hyunjin’s eyes popped open as the mystery boy walked straight into the dingy cafeteria and took a seat with his food. oh, the universe was finally giving hyunjin a break!

he picked up his tray and cautiously walked up to the other boy, sitting down across from him.

“...good morning,” hyunjin said, testing the waters.

”oh my god. you again? didn’t i say for you to not follow me? you really are that hardheaded, aren’t you?” the other looked up, supposedly frustrated.

hyunjin gasped, more offended than anything.

“excuse you, i was trying to make sure you were okay. sorry for caring about your well-being, i guess.” 

as hyunjin turned to get up and leave seungmin grabbed his hand to pull him back down, but clearly regretted it as he removed his hand away just as fast as he put it there.

hyunjin raised an eyebrow.

“i-i’m uhh… sorry for being so mean. thank you for caring,” the boy swallowed like those were the hardest words he’s ever had to say.

“i’m seungmin. you’re hyunjin, right?” 

“sure am, want to start over?” hyunjin smiled, holding his hand out for a shake.

seungmin hesitantly shook the taller’s hand with a small smile. “sure.”

they finished eating their breakfast together with minimal small talk. hyunjin wondered why seungmin was so awkward, although he just brushed it off as him being shy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> their starting to get closer what it i cri

more days went by with seungmin going down to the same concrete bench—hyunjin knew this because he would watch from his second story window. he loved seeing the shy boy’s face when the moonlight hit it just right, loved seeing him so focused on his art work. he didn’t know why but he would give so much to be down there with him and see his pretty face up close. however, he didn’t want to trigger whatever happened the first time he went down, so he kept his distance and appreciated eating his breakfast with him for the time being.

the next morning was the same as the last, hyunjin got his breakfast and waited for seungmin to join him. he waited for a few minutes until hearing the youngers footsteps approaching, looking up and seeing a bright smile on his face.

“good morning,” he set his tray down in his usual spot across from hyunjin. 

“how’d you sleep last night?” hyunjin asked, taking a bite of his cold breakfast sandwich. 

“like shit...as always,” seungmin giggled, popping a grape into his mouth.

hyunjin returned a smile, loving the sound of the others giggles. this was about as deep as their conversations went during their breakfast meetings, and hyunjin was okay with that. maybe one day they could talk about something deeper, like seungmin’s art, but he was perfectly fine waiting until seungmin wanted that conversation.

they threw their trash away, said their goodbyes, and went on with their schedules.

-

three o’clock struck and hyunjin got his pillow off his bed and situated himself at the window, looking at the bench making sure he didn’t miss seungmins appearance. he was pleased to see the younger slipping out the glass doors as soon as he looked, excited to see him even if it meant being a little creepy. he watched him sit down and gather his things per usual and start his drawing.

he started to notice seungmin wasn’t acting as usual though. he seemed more zoned out and upset—not that the younger didn’t have a resting bitch face, but he appeared he would break down at any given moment. and just as that thought slid through hyunjin’s mind, he saw the younger put his face into his hands. hyunjin wasn't going to sit here and watch, seungmin may not have needed him but he needed someone, he wasn't just going to see his friend cry outside, cold and alone. were they even considered friends? that was a question for another time. hyunjin slipped on his coat and wiggled his door open.

he approached a crying seungmin, trying to be as careful as possible not to scare him off.

“hey, hey, hey, don’t cry. it’s okay,” he said comfortingly as he rubbed seungmin’s back.

to hyunjin’s suprise, seungmin leaned into the touch.

“no. nothing’s okay,” he said through sniffles. there was a pause.

“do you want to talk about it?” hyunjin whispered and rubbed seungmins upper back to ease him.

“not really,” seungmin choked out.

“okay, okay, i can work with that. do you want to go inside? i have a roommate but he sleeps like a brick, so we may have to be quiet but-“

“we can go to my room, i don’t have a roommate” seungmin cut him off, wiping the last of the tears off his eyes. hyunjin was overwhelmed with happiness that the younger was finally letting him in.

“yes that’s perfectly fine, let’s go.” hyunjin helped seungmin up and he led the way.

-

they arrived to seungmins dorm and just as he said, there was no roommate. lots of art all over the walls and seungmin had plushies overflowing his bed. hyunjin thought that was pretty cute and matched with his personality. they sat on the bottom bunk and just looked at each other.

“i’m sorry for making you worry, you don’t have to take care of me...” 

seungmin turned away, trying to close himself off again. 

hyunjin wasn’t going to step backwards in their relationship.

“there’s absolutely no need for you to feel sorry, everyone has bad days and needs to cry sometimes. i want to be here to comfort you and help you feel better. i promise you’re not being a burden,” hyunjin reassured seungmin, reaching to push a strand of hair behind seungmin’s ear. apparently some comforting words were all it took to open the floodgates of seungmin’s emotions.

“it’s his b-birthday,” seungmin cried into hyunjin’s shoulder. hyunjin tried to piece together what seungmin could possibly mean, scanning over all the breakfast chats and other random things seungmin has said, but he’s never mentioned anyone else. hyunjin rubbed seungmin’s head, holding him tightly.

“whose birthday, seungmin?” he said softly, stroking his hair.

“j-jeongin,” he cried.

everything finally clicked in hyunjins head. 

the boy in seungmin’s drawings was jeongin, a boy who committed suicide at this school around five months ago.

“oh, seungmin,” he held him impossibly tighter. “i’m so sorry...”

they stayed like this for a while, just soft sniffles from them both, and even when seungmin stopped crying he didn’t let go.


	5. Chapter 5

when seungmin woke up, hyunjin was next to him. he didn’t know why, but his stomach twirled and a small smile crossed his face. hyunjin looked so warm and inviting when he was sleeping, and seungmin couldn’t help but stare. 

hyunjin’s eyes fluttered open and seungmin quickly averted his gaze, a pink flush dusting his cheeks. he didn’t understand what he was feeling, but the more affected seungmin was by hyunjin, the more scared he felt.

“good morning, seungmin,” hyunjin smiled, sitting up.

seungmin nodded to let hyunjin know he heard him, and started getting up out of bed.

“why didn’t you go back to your room last night? you’re going to get in trouble,” seungmin stated more than questioned.

“you seemed like you needed company,” hyunjin followed seungmin, getting out of bed.

“but the guards-“

“your smile is worth the risk,” hyunjin admitted with a sly smirk, placing a hand on seungmin’s shoulder.

hyunjin saw seungmin’s face flash a deeper shade of pink before he turned to get his day clothes. he walked to his small wooden dresser and grabbed his uniform to put on, noticing hyunjin was still eyeing him from across the room.

“well, are you going to turn around or keep staring?” seungmin questioned, and hyunjin flushed.

“i-i...uhm…,” hyunjin gulps hard, panicking. “i can get going to my room now...but i’ll see you at breakfast, right?”

“sure thing,” seungmin giggled, seeing how the tables have turned.

-

seungmin couldn’t lie, hyunjin was growing on him. it’d been a few weeks of their same routines. hyunjin would even sleep in the dorm with seungmin whenever he could. it felt nice for the most part; seungmin didn’t hate being in his room as much and his nightmares were slowly fading. he was happier; hyunjin was making him happier.

“so with red, blue, and yellow you can actually make any color you want?” hyunjin said with a shocked expression.

“yup.” 

seungmin was teaching hyunjin how to paint. hyunjin apparently stole a few paint bottles and a canvas from the art room and seungmin cursed himself for not thinking of that idea sooner, although he didn’t grab any brushes so they were using their fingers. seungmin enjoyed days like this with no class where they could spend more time together.

“then...too bad i only took green and yellow,” hyunjin laughed, wiping a smear of light green on their shared canvas.

“so, that’s what i like about art, you can’t mess up. look, i’ll show you,” seungmin said, grabbing hyunjin’s paint-covered hand and helping him smear the paint into different shapes.

“boom. a flower,” they laughed.

“our flower.”

-

hyunjin carefully pinned their masterpiece to the wall for them to admire.

it was one of those days hyunjin had planned to stay the night with seungmin. he snuck a bag with some pajamas and snacks into his room and they made a barrier around them with all of seungmin’s plushies. there was nothing to do and that was perfectly fine with them, just being in each other’s presence was enough.

“why did you want to be my friend in the first place?” seungmin asked, turning to face the older.

hyunjin shrugged. “why’s that matter?”

“i don’t know, just curious.” 

seungmin laid his head on hyunjin’s lap with a yawn. 

“well, you looked interesting...if that makes sense. one night i saw you out on that bench from my window. you looked so focused even though it was freezing and you had no jacket,” hyunjin confessed. “i kept watching every night, waiting for the right moment to introduce myself, but i could never find the courage. until one night it was literally snowing and you  _ still  _ went out to draw. i figured giving you a blanket would be a good ice breaker, but...uhm…we both know how that turned out.”

“sorry about that,” seungmin said softly.

“but hey, look where we are now! we’re best friends, right?” hyunjin attempted to cheer the smaller up.

_ best friends. _ seungmin didn’t think the way he felt about hyunjin was a friendly feeling, but acknowledging that he felt more than that startled him. he just wanted to cuddle hyunjin and never let anything bad ever happen to him. maybe he failed to stop jeongin, but he could try his hardest to never let history repeat itself with hyunjin.

“yeah, best friends.” 

he smiled up at the older, snuggling in closer. he felt safe and warm, feelings he never thought he could feel again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we are nearing the end folks

as time went on, seungmin would never let hyunjin slip his mind. the more the boy was with him, the more the butterflies in his stomach grew. he couldn’t help the long stares and tighter hugs, they just felt right. however, he knew hyunjin probably didn’t see him as anything more than a friend and that hurt his heart. his dreams faded from memories of jeongin and their past to hyunjin and his future. this made him feel like absolute shit. how could he feel more for a boy he just met a few months ago, than for his first kiss, first boyfriend, first everything? the more he thought jeongin left his mind the harder he came flooding back in. 

all he could hope was that hyunjin didn’t notice.

  
  


“why’re you acting so distant?” hyunjin questioned over their routine breakfast. “i already told you you’re gonna do fine on your math test.” 

“ahh, it’s nothing...” 

it was something. 

“i just was thinking about what we could paint today, that’s all.” 

seungmin lied. of course he felt bad, but he couldn't afford to scare hyunjin off just yet. he needed more time to figure out his own feelings instead of worrying about hyunjin’s.

“oooh, how considerate of you,” hyunjin teased with a playful smile. “i was thinking we could go to the bench again tonight since we haven’t been in so long, we can paint there if you’d like?” 

“that sounds lovely, i’ll see you there okay?” seungmin giggles, picking his trash up.

“of course. now go ace your math test, cutie.”

_ cutie.  _ that was not something just friends would say to each other...right? was seungmin reading too far into this? his mind clouded with all sorts of thoughts as he skipped to his math class with glee.

  
  


-

it was around two thirty when hyunjin left his dorm, thanking his roommate’s heavy sleeping as he wiggles his door open. 

the rush of sneaking out past curfew always made him ten times more eager to get to his destination, and this time he had a special idea to surprise seungmin. 

he wasn’t sure if tonight was the right time to confess, but he hoped this would at least give seungmin a hint. and with that, he scurried down the stairs with a quarter in hand, arriving to their bench early.

_ their bench _

-

seungmin glanced at his watch and figured hyunjin would be waiting for him by now. as winter was ending and spring was approaching he didn’t have to wear a jacket anymore, which he greatly appreciated. he’s always hated layering clothes and feeling trapped.

as he exited the final glass doors and looked around, hyunjin was already on the bench, just as he had expected. a small smile was spread across his face as he sat, giddy with excitement.

“hey, minnie,” hyunjin sneered, knowing seungmin would flush at the nickname.

“shut up, ugly,” seungmin giggled, trying to hide his flushed cheeks with his hands.

“meanie...anyway, i have a surprise for you,” hyunjin said, standing up excitedly.

“where?” seungmin asked curiously, cocking an eyebrow at an empty handed hyunjin.

“close your eyes!” 

he felt the taller boy grab his hand and situate him in front of something he thought was a tree.

“okay...open!” 

seungmin opened his eyes to a large oak tree, an engraving of a heart with the letters  _ hhj + ksm  _ inside it. he turned his head to face the taller and saw him blushing profusely.

he looked  _ pretty _ .

“i love it,” seungmin whispered, hugging hyunjin as tight as he possibly could. hyunjin wrapped his long arms around the boy and leaned into the embrace, feeling as if his heart would malfunction.

when seungmin pulled away, he simply looked into hyunjin’s eyes. there were so many emotions pooling in them, too jumbled for him to try and detect a single one. 

he couldn’t believe he was staring at someone so impossibly beautiful.

“seungmin,” hyunjin breathed. “i think i love-“ 

he was cut off by seungmin connecting their lips in a slow, passionate kiss. he didn’t think seungmin would make the first move, even after months of flirting. 

running out of air, they pulled away to catch their breath. 

“the moonlight makes you look even prettier than you already are,” seungmin smiled, his eyes twinkling with delight.

“stop...before i kiss you again,” hyunjin whined.

“who said that’s a punishment?” seungmin smirked, diving back into hyunjin’s lips. he wrapped his arms around the taller’s neck, melting into his touch.


End file.
